I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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