Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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