Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
