I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Even my vagina gasped.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
