thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
