WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
