I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
pop tarts are not kleenex
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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