Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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