I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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