Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
