i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
