Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
