In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
