I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
