Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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