Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
