My first STD was from a foam party
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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