so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I came so hard my ears popped.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
