Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
