Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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