Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
