I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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