I'm drive I can fine osifer
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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