I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
