You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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