fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
