what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
