I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
