He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
