I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
