K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
