I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
