Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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