What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
