is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
