Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I smell stomach acid.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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