i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
