oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
