..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
