It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
