party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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