i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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