Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
