I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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