Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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