HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
