She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's shark week go big or go home
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
