So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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