can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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