Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
