Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
